January 2011
37 posts
To the nurse at the prompt care facility which I...
Thanks for almost killing me. I waited for two hours to see you, only to have you pick up my hand, glance at it, and tell me that I had a “rash caused by a virus.” You did not ask me anything about my medical history, what medications I was on, what I had eaten that day, etc. Just “it’s a rash caused by a virus” after two seconds of inspection. I mentioned to you...
FedEx… this one’s for you.
Paying for something in public.
Everyone else: Card out, swipe, card back in wallet. All in one swift motion.
Me: Can't get credit card out of wallet, decide to pay with cash. Drop quarters all over the floor in the process of taking cash out. Receive change and receipt at the same time and drop change while trying to put receipt in wallet. Move over to figure out your life as you're cradling your purchases, wallet, change, and receipt like an infant child. Cry.
GOOD GAME, BRO.
Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWbLkXhGEmo
My boyfriend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Me: You're an asshole.
Le Orange: Bandier Program Purchases Crouse... →
leorange:
The Bandier Program for Music and Allied Entertainment Industries announced today that it has purchased Crouse College from the Sentor School of Music.
“This is a real boon for us,” said program director Craig Lezak. “Now the students of the music business don’t have to look into the innocent…
I don’t want this to be so hilarious but my God it is.
Currently:
If you heard me and my friends watching Man Vs...
what-is-this-i-dont-even:
You would think we were masturbating.
TRUTHPASTE. My boyfriend and I watch this show all the time and we’re always afraid that people are gonna think we’re having sex.
Dear Tumblr
oatmeal:
If you’re going to go down, you might as well blame it on an imaginary animal like Twitter did with their infamous Fail Whale. I’ve taken the liberty of creating this animal for you:
Please use it.
Please oh please.
-The Oatmeal
Update: Tumblr used the TumblBeasts! Check it out :D
Thrilled that this actually happened.
You know the part in the Footloose musical where...
ME RIGHT NOW.
That awkward moment IRL when you can't even.
Getting out of the shower
expectations-vs-reality:
Expectation:
Reality:
Submitted by itsthekhayrbear
Always.
That awesome moment when you realize you have 900...
That awkward moment when you find out your...
5 tags
We shall mark this day down in history.
Today, I cooked something.
I did it on my own. I did not follow a recipe. Just my ~domestic instincts~.
AND IT TASTED AMAZING.
:’) You guys.
Cooking at home!
Expectation:
Reality:
So I just did my hair and I'm all like:
missdisneyland:
Expectation: Reality:
Oh, men.
Friend: I was out 'cause [my girlfriend] turned 21 last night.
Me: And your fake ID worked?
Friend: Yeah.
Friend: It was also a chick bartender.
Friend: I probably seduced her.
About a week after our first date, my now...
I was still feeling things out at that point, but definitely liked him and missed him when he was away. To remedy this, he took me to Build-A-Bear (my first visit) and we made a teddy bear that we dressed like him and named after him - to hold his place when he was gone. It was a disgustingly over-the-top and cheesy act, but that was when I knew. That was when I knew that I’d actually...
Judd Apatow’s Next Movie Will Feature Paul Rudd... →
popculturebrain:
According to Variety, the pair will reprise their roles as man and wife but it is not officially a spin-off. It’s reportedly a new story featuring their characters.
How is that not a spin off?
In Knocked Up, Rudd and Mann played Pete and Debbie, a seemingly perfect married couple. Debbie’s sister Alison, played by Katherine Heigl, gets pregnant thanks to a slacker...
The Most Frightening Thing I've Seen Today →
We’re all gonna die in 2012, the world is ending, etc.